Saturday, May 9
11:15 PM
11:15 PM
It's inside me ..
Peace have arrived .
The long war between Shi Hui Bestie & Brother Jian Zhi has ended .
It's looks like things are settling down .
I can ease my mind now .
Today's vesak day , was suppose to be a good day , turn out not .
That feeling is back .
It's killing me .
Ever since i came back from Westmall in the afternoon .
The feeling of " I don't know what i want " is back .
I know i haven't been myself for the past few days .. or even weeks .
I have no goal in life .
Everyone seems like that they have something to work for .
For me , nothing .
Ever since I looked at Shi Hui Bestie & Jian Zhi's blog ,
I feel powerless .
They have probs and i just couldn't help them at all .
What am i doing ?
People come to school to study and learn ,
for me , coming to school is just for the sake of it .
When people fail their subjects , they get very worried and anxious .
While me , i feel totally nothing .
No remorse .
I create trouble , chaos & havoc in class and disrupts lessons .
And I believe all the teacher couldn't stand me .
What am i in school for ?
After all the thoughts that i made ,
I realised i achieve nothing at all .
Be it small or big .
Im not a very good person like you all think .
Im just a loser , a coward .
If i ever lose my temper on you , im sorry . Especially to my Bestie , my Brothers , Gans and other close friends .
Till now , i do not know what im actually doing ..